Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

It's more like a circle, but whatever.
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Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby dferrantino » 21 Feb 2016, 20:47:47

The sun rises, a new day dawns.
The wind blows, the birds sing in the trees.
The water churns, the river runs red with blood.
The fish swim, alongside the floating head of Iron Clad Burrito.

Carved into his forehead: "WOLFPAK 4 LYF"

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby 7-zark-7 » 21 Feb 2016, 21:05:22

How could I handle wolves on a day like today?

http://youtu.be/J2qGv7C0-Gk

More in a bit,

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"The possibility that it's Zark simply murdering someone at a whim each day... would be delightful if true, but I worry that that's too simple a solution." - Okaros

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby San » 21 Feb 2016, 22:03:07

Clearasday

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Ryvvn » 21 Feb 2016, 22:40:05

God, I was way too into the whole nWo era of WCW... and I'm still shocked to this day by RaveBomb's unscripted double-heel-turn on Hollywood Hogan!

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby necklessone » 22 Feb 2016, 05:19:13

Hurmph. Amateurs. Do you see how they didn't bother scooping out the brains or sucking the sweet gelatinous humours from his eyes? What's the point of eating a man if you're not going to steal his knowledge and see what he has seen?

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby RaveBomb » 22 Feb 2016, 05:36:26

I don't know why but today seems like it's gonna be a great day!
necklessone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRu_-9MBpd4 (mildly NSFW. Headphones at a minimum.)
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If you still end up losing after this, it's totally not your fault.-Hellheart
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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby necklessone » 22 Feb 2016, 05:54:54

I can understand the confusion, but you all know me. I'm the village cannibal! I would never eat a local...unless they drew the black rock at the harvest festival. And that's weeks away!

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Mister E. Meat » 22 Feb 2016, 06:18:32

Does this clown taste funny to you?

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby DastardlyOldMan » 22 Feb 2016, 06:57:45

See, now everything *was* awesome until these darned kids started all this graffiti business. I mean, all caps & misspelled? This is intolerable. Back when I was a lad, we carved our heads with proper spelling - and we used cursive, dammit. Kids these days don't even know what cursive is. How can anyone be a doctor if you can't scrawl unintelligible squiggles on a notepad? This next generation is going to die out from a complete lack of medical care.

Obviously, the latest young whippersnapper is responsible for this.

Gunnerking Grunginor Gungnir888

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Okaros » 22 Feb 2016, 07:00:26

Mister E. Meat wrote:Does this clown taste funny to you?


Funny you should mention clowns... Back in '83 I had the occasion to share a cross-country van ride with a clown who went by the name "Chuckles".

Now Chuckles was an phenomenal storyteller and our lengthy journey was made far more tolerable by the yarns he would spin. I mention this because Chuckles had something of a penchant for the macabre, and one of his stories comes to mind as being all too similar to our current situation.

While we were passing through Texarkana, Chuckles related a story that he'd heard on another little van ride. A story of an idyllic little country town inhabited by werewolves. Not such an unusual tale by itself as road stories go, but the part that made it fascinating was the detail with which the original teller described the visceral tastes and smells the wolves must have experienced. Almost as if he'd been one of them himself. By the time Chuckles was done telling the story you'd have sworn you were there in the town, being hunted by the werewolves each night.

You wouldn't know anything about that, would you Mister E. Meat - retracted?
Last edited by Okaros on 22 Feb 2016, 17:22:42, edited 2 times in total.
I kind of assume Okaros is out to backstab me until proven otherwise. - DOM

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Okaros » 22 Feb 2016, 07:16:31

Clearasday : 1 : San
Gungnir888 : 1 : DastardlyOldMan
Mister E. Meat : 1 : Okaros
necklessone : 1 : RaveBomb
RaveBomb : 1 : Ryvvn
I kind of assume Okaros is out to backstab me until proven otherwise. - DOM

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Gungnir888 » 22 Feb 2016, 08:39:28

DastardlyOldMan wrote:See, now everything *was* awesome until these darned kids started all this graffiti business. I mean, all caps & misspelled? This is intolerable. Back when I was a lad, we carved our heads with proper spelling - and we used cursive, dammit. Kids these days don't even know what cursive is. How can anyone be a doctor if you can't scrawl unintelligible squiggles on a notepad? This next generation is going to die out from a complete lack of medical care.

Obviously, the latest young whippersnapper is responsible for this.

Gunnerking Grunginor Gungnir888


Clearly the old man has snapped. The only person capable of this is a dastard, indeed! I say we string you up on the gallows, DastardlyOldMan!

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby DastardlyOldMan » 22 Feb 2016, 09:45:53

A gallows? Bah. You kids and your fancy toys. Back in my day, all we had was a tree, and we had to *make* rope, out of our own intestines. I still shudder when I think about Taco Tuesdays.

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Mister E. Meat » 22 Feb 2016, 10:10:44

@Okaros Chuckles talked to you? You should see someone about your fantastical thoughts. Also your choice in candy because Chuckles definitely do taste funny to me.

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby necklessone » 22 Feb 2016, 10:23:56

Attempt to detect a wolf via satiety levels

Hypothesis: Only someone stuffed to the gills with ICB would refuse a tasty dish of meat and onions.

Apparatus: One plate (ceramic), one skillet (cast iron), stove, one knife (15cm chefs), 500g "meat", 50g chopped onion, 50g butter

Method:
  • Using knife, trim meat of exterior fat, mold, and rancid portions.
  • Heat skillet on stove until it is hit enough to blister skin in one second (use lab technician to measure blisters)
  • Apply butter to skillet.
  • Apply meat to skillet.
  • Apply onions to skillet.
  • Have lab technician shake skillet to stir.
  • When a thick black layer develops on meat, transfer to plate.
  • Offer plate to suspected wolf.

Results: Savory meat dish prepared. Lab technician severely scarred. Plate offered to Ryvvn, who refused

Conclusion: Ryvvn is a wolf.

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby 7-zark-7 » 22 Feb 2016, 10:36:12

I'd persuaded Cameron to join me, but he was definitely in work mode now that there was a dead body, or at least part of one, to hand, or at least to head.

Cameron took his responsibilities very seriously, as indicated by the cut of his suit and the badge that he wore. FBI - I never would have believed the man would join the FBI. To his credit, his bust of Mr Edward Rooney was the stuff of local legend, but his sculpting work was more of a hobby, and I'm changing the subject.

Right now, he was discussing the lack of blood from the carved message on the Burrito, and I was off mexican food for at least a month...

Sure a body can bleed. But after the heart stops, blood pressure drops to about 10 Torr and there is no more spurting. If by bleeding you mean have blood come out of an opening, then yes, depending on how long the body has been dead and what position is it in. It's more than likely that the head was removed before the carving. There's just not a lot of blood left in the face when you're decapitated. What interests me more is the age of the head

The body has been dead for a while?

I don't know about the body, I only know about the head

Okay, how old is the head?

Generally a minute or two older than the body at most

Funny. What else can you tell us?

It's a clean cut, or rather it was - looks like he's been floating around for a couple of days, and the guppies have been picking away

Did he suffer?

Before or after his head was cut off?

I'm guessing not much happened after his head was cut off

Well, someone did carve a message into his head afterwards... I doubt he felt it though

Any chance this was a suicide?

Highly unlikely - the message carved in his head afterwards would have been very difficult for ICB to do himself.

More in a bit,

7z7

((when did Ferris Bueller become a police procedural? This is supposed to be his day off...))
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"The possibility that it's Zark simply murdering someone at a whim each day... would be delightful if true, but I worry that that's too simple a solution." - Okaros

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby RaveBomb » 22 Feb 2016, 11:39:18

I am mildly amused and somewhat scared of necklessone's menu planning.

So much so... I think I might want him to live another day.
If our team loses, it's going to be entirely your fault.-rekard
If you still end up losing after this, it's totally not your fault.-Hellheart
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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby dferrantino » 22 Feb 2016, 12:06:04

The GM says this:


EOD is 10PM EST

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Visigoth » 22 Feb 2016, 13:15:39

I just saw Kevin Nash talking with San. Plus the mash potatoes told me this was important so it must be so.

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Okaros » 22 Feb 2016, 13:18:29

Clearasday : 1 : San
DastardlyOldMan : 1 : Gungnir888
Gungnir888 : 1 : DastardlyOldMan
Mister E. Meat : 1 : Okaros
necklessone : 1 : RaveBomb
RaveBomb : 1 : Ryvvn
Ryvvn : 1 : necklessone
San : 1 : Visigoth
I kind of assume Okaros is out to backstab me until proven otherwise. - DOM

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Blindsniper83 » 22 Feb 2016, 13:37:58

Jarvis, why would you say that this small town is a great place to visit

Well sir, they have 3 5 star restaurants

Jarvis, that is 3.5 star restaurant, and the serve this steak that looks more like dog treats

what about the 4 star hotel?

Yea its CALLED 4 STAR hotel, not a 4 star rating, there isn't even room service

sorry sir




Visgoth you're talking to your mashed potatoes, you should know that only scalloped potatoes talk back on mondays
RaveBomb making a lot of sense is how you know you're past the point of no return and that death is the only escape.

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby 7-zark-7 » 22 Feb 2016, 13:40:54

This is the point in the day when a dastardly old man would typically point out the number of singletons and ask us to consolidate. He would also yell at the new kid to get off his lawn, but that's rather the point.

This wasn't his lawn, it was the village square. It was also more of a circle, but I'm changing the subject.

More in a bit,

7z7
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"The possibility that it's Zark simply murdering someone at a whim each day... would be delightful if true, but I worry that that's too simple a solution." - Okaros

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Admetus » 22 Feb 2016, 14:02:48

I consulted the oracle, and it told me Omega was playing this game. That's nice oracle, it's been a while, but who's a wolf? Clearasday, it said. I'm going to assume it meant the player, not that I shouldn't have to ask.

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Mister E. Meat » 22 Feb 2016, 14:10:15

Should I vote for Okaros for voting me or DOM for picking on a newbie on day 1? DAY 1!

Have you no shame you Dastardly Old Man?

And yet, if I poke him, he will likely move to me and make things uncomfortable.

Only RNGesus can decide.

Image

Sorry DOM, looks like your luck has run out.

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Clearasday » 22 Feb 2016, 15:14:27

SAN FOR THE SAN GOD
THERE IS NO JUSTICE, THERE IS JUST CLEARASDAY.

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Omega » 22 Feb 2016, 16:27:55

Admetus wrote:I consulted the oracle, and it told me Omega was playing this game. That's nice oracle, it's been a while, but who's a wolf? Clearasday, it said. I'm going to assume it meant the player, not that I shouldn't have to ask.


I am in fact playing this game.

Unfortunately I can not accuse iron clad burrito as he's currently missing a head and clearly not a wolf.

DOM voting on a new player though? Highly unusual.

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Okaros » 22 Feb 2016, 17:18:14

Admetus wrote:I consulted the oracle, and it told me Omega was playing this game. That's nice oracle, it's been a while, but who's a wolf? Clearasday, it said. I'm going to assume it meant the player, not that I shouldn't have to ask.

You know I've always had great respect for Oracles, particularly after I met one in Tashkent in '03. He had the whole neighborhood *convinced* that he could see someone's destiny just by sharing a hookah with them in his rundown little home. I didn't believe any of it for a second, of course, but the faith those people had in the man and the respect he showed them in return for supporting him was simply breathtaking. Or maybe that was the hashish. Quality stuff, as I recall.

But that's neither here nor there. Instead, we need some consolidation. How about it, Clearasday?
I kind of assume Okaros is out to backstab me until proven otherwise. - DOM

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Okaros » 22 Feb 2016, 17:19:08

Clearasday : 3 : San, Admetus, Okaros
DastardlyOldMan : 3 : Gungnir888, 7-zark-7, Mister E. Meat
San : 2 : Visigoth, Clearasday
Gungnir888 : 1 : DastardlyOldMan
necklessone : 1 : RaveBomb
RaveBomb : 1 : Ryvvn
Ryvvn : 1 : necklessone
Visigoth : 1 : blindsniper83
I kind of assume Okaros is out to backstab me until proven otherwise. - DOM

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby Omega » 22 Feb 2016, 17:23:34

San, for the Day 1 three-way.

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby twdog » 22 Feb 2016, 17:40:51

ravebomb, for the very well reasoned strategy of me not wanting to miss the first vote of the game.
you hear an odd muffled noise in the shoggoth tank

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Re: Day 1 - HOLY CRAP A SEVERED HEAD

Postby dferrantino » 22 Feb 2016, 19:09:48

Clearasday (3): San, Admetus, Okaros
DastardlyOldMan (3): Gungnir888, 7-zark-7, Mister E. Meat
San (3): Visigoth, Clearasday, Omega
RaveBomb (2): Ryvvn, twdog
necklessone (1): RaveBomb
Gungnir888 (1): DastardlyOldMan
Ryvvn (1): necklessone
Visigoth (1): Blindsniper83
Mister E. Meat (0): Okaros

Not Voted: Rictus, rekard


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